But not literally, unfortunately. Instead, we're stuck with the 'radio star', aka. the 'older generation', aka, the parentals. Yes, ladies and gents, we're stuck with the people who know jack shit about technology, even though they'd like to think they're experts.
Have you ever noticed that they spend loads of money on this 'state of the art' technology, but they never know how to use it. Even if they have the instructions. Sense? This makes none. So, what do they do after the evil instructions in twelve different languages have befuddled them into a permanent state of confusion? They turn to the younger generation, aka, their children. Otherwise known as 'us'.
Now... I have no problem whatsoever explaining how things work when they get new things. I understand that the fact that there is actually colour on the t.v must permanently alter their brainwaves so that they just don't understand things when they first come into contact with it... But seriously, they order us to explain how this new thing works - using that well known parental charm known as blackmail - and we do it, as graciously as we can. We explain it nice and slowly, even showing them what buttons to press. But nothing seems to register. Because for the next two or three years (the time it takes for them to decide it is a suitable time to confuse themselves more with the next model) they're still asking us to do everything for them!
"[insert child's name here]!!!!! COME FIX THIS!!"
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO THIS?!" -"I didn't touch it, Dad. You don't let me use it."-
I've learned that 99% of the time, when something isn't working in the house, one of the "kids" did it.
And most of the time, while you're in the background, fixing all this crap, they are away bragging to their friends about how amazing all this 'modern technology' that they don't know how to work is, in a way that suggests that they have just warped from the jurassic period.
They don't seem to comprehend the fact that when their child begins to reach the late teens/almost twenties stage, they will leave the nest soon. And when that happens, who's going to fix their shit for them?!
Because to be quite honest I will not be driving ridiculous distances to go to see my parents every day to change the bloody channel for them. So they should really learn how to work their own crap that they decide to buy when they get it. Because we won't be around forever.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
The Best of Me
Last week. A bloody good week, I can tell you.
For someone who is not a fresher due to failing to make entry into any university she applied for, I had a very good night at Edinburgh Uni's fresher's week last Wednesday. I shall thank Jenny for that particular night, and also thank her for not pulling a 'Jenny' and ditching me to wonder off with some guy. I shall also thank all those others who were there on that night who made it a night to remember.
Now, the highlight of my week, though, was the Friday. My third time seeing The Used live, and as per usual, they were perfect. Absolutely stupendous, if I do say so myself. Granted, they didn't play a few of the songs I wanted them to, but I guess it would be too much to ask them to attend to my every whim. We Are The Ocean were also very good, and fun people to see live. I loved the entire night - up until I ran out of money...
For someone who is not a fresher due to failing to make entry into any university she applied for, I had a very good night at Edinburgh Uni's fresher's week last Wednesday. I shall thank Jenny for that particular night, and also thank her for not pulling a 'Jenny' and ditching me to wonder off with some guy. I shall also thank all those others who were there on that night who made it a night to remember.
Now, the highlight of my week, though, was the Friday. My third time seeing The Used live, and as per usual, they were perfect. Absolutely stupendous, if I do say so myself. Granted, they didn't play a few of the songs I wanted them to, but I guess it would be too much to ask them to attend to my every whim. We Are The Ocean were also very good, and fun people to see live. I loved the entire night - up until I ran out of money...
Monday, 7 September 2009
Drunks, Lovers, Sinners, Saints
As some of you may have noticed, I have decided to go on strike. What for? I'm on strike from guys. Guys, love, relationships, whatever. Even though judging by my relationship status that has frozen in 'single', I have theoretically been on this strike for a while, that is not true. I am no longer known as 'single and looking'. I am now 'hermit who has given up'.
Love is overrated. It fucks you over in so many ways, even if the other person has no idea. It just likes to make you happy, then fuck you over, then watch you slowly crumble and dissolve into a pathetic little mound of patheticness.
Yes, ladies and gentleman. That is all love is good for. Love is a sadistic bitch who likes to torture and scar people for life. Love is like the devil incarnate.
And you may have read my complaint about perpetually happy people. This also applies for perpetually lovey dovey happy couples who just cuddle and 'coo' at each other all day long. It makes me want to hurl. Valentines Day, has to be the worst holiday in creation. It's not even a real holiday. It's just an excuse for couples to rub the fact that they have a significant other in the faces of all the lonely single people who get no chocolates or flowers on Valentines Day, except from their best friends who feel bad for you because they are in a relationship and you are not.
I vote for Singles Day. Where we all go around and celebrate being single by getting drunk and leaving bags of flaming shit in the shape of a heart on the doorsteps of couples. It should also be on February 14th. Just for the fun of it.
Now, here's a few quotes and sayings for the sake of the assholes out there:
"Men have only 2 faults... all they say, and all they do."
"Guys act like dicks to make up for what they don't have"
and finally....
"Guys are like toilets... they are either occupied or full of shit."
Done.
Love is overrated. It fucks you over in so many ways, even if the other person has no idea. It just likes to make you happy, then fuck you over, then watch you slowly crumble and dissolve into a pathetic little mound of patheticness.
Yes, ladies and gentleman. That is all love is good for. Love is a sadistic bitch who likes to torture and scar people for life. Love is like the devil incarnate.
And you may have read my complaint about perpetually happy people. This also applies for perpetually lovey dovey happy couples who just cuddle and 'coo' at each other all day long. It makes me want to hurl. Valentines Day, has to be the worst holiday in creation. It's not even a real holiday. It's just an excuse for couples to rub the fact that they have a significant other in the faces of all the lonely single people who get no chocolates or flowers on Valentines Day, except from their best friends who feel bad for you because they are in a relationship and you are not.
I vote for Singles Day. Where we all go around and celebrate being single by getting drunk and leaving bags of flaming shit in the shape of a heart on the doorsteps of couples. It should also be on February 14th. Just for the fun of it.
Now, here's a few quotes and sayings for the sake of the assholes out there:
"Men have only 2 faults... all they say, and all they do."
"Guys act like dicks to make up for what they don't have"
and finally....
"Guys are like toilets... they are either occupied or full of shit."
Done.
Sunday, 6 September 2009
Men Are All The Same...
...Straight men, anyway. I mean, why is it that they find it so bloody impossible to talk to people about things?! Where the hell did this idea pop into existence that it's only women and gay men that talk about their feelings?! I mean, come on. If something's wrong, no one can help you if you don't tell anyone. Duh. And you clearly can't help yourself, or else it wouldn't be bothering you so much. Seriously.
My mate, who shall remain unnamed, has a boyfriend. She was out with him the other night, and phoned me crying - twice - within 20 minutes from the bathroom of the bar they were in, because she was confused and annoyed. She asked him if they could go out, he agreed. He goes out, they meet up with another friend. All seems okay. WRONG. As soon as the other friend arrives, it's "let's geek out and talk about WoW because [unnamed] knows fuck all about it and cannot join in the conversation!"
"Why did she not just remind them that they are not talking to her and they're ignoring her?" you may ask. Here's the thing. She did. Reaction: n/a.5 minutes later, I get a call from a bar bathroom from my friend.Another question you may ask would be, "Why doesn't she just ask him what's up?" Again. She has. His answer: Nothing is wrong.
I call bullshit.
The prick has the nerve to sit there and talk to his friend about gaming, which she doesn't do, and ALSO take the utter piss out of her to his mate, insinuating that she is a whore who only agreed to go out with him and not his other friend because he was a better kisser. In front of her.
Now. Maybe this could be sorted, if this boy actually had some balls and told her exactly what the problem was. But no. Nope, talking about feelings isn't manly enough for guys. They don't like talking about feelings, because they want to feel butch and tough. Not talk about "all that touchy feely crap". Even though, that "touchy feely crap" may actually save the relationship.
Here's the thing. Guys, you may think you're being 'tough' by not talking about your feelings or problems, but in reality?
You're all a bunch of pussies.
Done.
P.S. I'm so glad I got permission to re-post that. The short crappy one that insinuated I was angry without letting me write anything was making my blog look silly..
My mate, who shall remain unnamed, has a boyfriend. She was out with him the other night, and phoned me crying - twice - within 20 minutes from the bathroom of the bar they were in, because she was confused and annoyed. She asked him if they could go out, he agreed. He goes out, they meet up with another friend. All seems okay. WRONG. As soon as the other friend arrives, it's "let's geek out and talk about WoW because [unnamed] knows fuck all about it and cannot join in the conversation!"
"Why did she not just remind them that they are not talking to her and they're ignoring her?" you may ask. Here's the thing. She did. Reaction: n/a.5 minutes later, I get a call from a bar bathroom from my friend.Another question you may ask would be, "Why doesn't she just ask him what's up?" Again. She has. His answer: Nothing is wrong.
I call bullshit.
The prick has the nerve to sit there and talk to his friend about gaming, which she doesn't do, and ALSO take the utter piss out of her to his mate, insinuating that she is a whore who only agreed to go out with him and not his other friend because he was a better kisser. In front of her.
Now. Maybe this could be sorted, if this boy actually had some balls and told her exactly what the problem was. But no. Nope, talking about feelings isn't manly enough for guys. They don't like talking about feelings, because they want to feel butch and tough. Not talk about "all that touchy feely crap". Even though, that "touchy feely crap" may actually save the relationship.
Here's the thing. Guys, you may think you're being 'tough' by not talking about your feelings or problems, but in reality?
You're all a bunch of pussies.
Done.
P.S. I'm so glad I got permission to re-post that. The short crappy one that insinuated I was angry without letting me write anything was making my blog look silly..
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
